Friends are such an important part of a child’s life, aren’t they? Having good friends can make a child feel happier, more confident, and even do better in school. But making and keeping friends isn’t always easy, especially for kids. That’s why it’s so important to help children develop the skills they need to build strong, positive friendships.
We all want our children to experience the joys and benefits of healthy friendships. True friends can provide emotional support, shared laughter, and a sense of belonging that is so valuable during the childhood years. Children with good friends tend to have higher self-esteem, better social skills, and are more motivated in school.
However, navigating the complexities of friendships requires certain skills that don’t always come naturally. From communicating effectively to resolving conflicts, there are many nuances to mastering the art of being a good friend. That’s where we, as caring adults, can step in and guide our children.
We’ll discuss crucial friendship skills that every child should learn. By nurturing these skills, you can set your child up for success in forming meaningful connections that will enrich their lives for years to come.
Communication
Being a good communicator is so important for building strong friendships. When children can express their thoughts and feelings clearly, it helps prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings with their friends.
But communication is a two-way street. It’s not just about talking, but also about listening. Kids need to learn how to be active listeners, giving their friends their full attention and trying to understand their perspectives and emotions.
For example, if your child’s friend is upset about something that happened at school, your child shouldn’t just wait for their turn to speak. They should ask questions, make eye contact, and show that they’re really trying to understand how their friend is feeling.
Good communication takes practice, but it’s a skill that will serve your child well in all areas of life, not just friendships. The more they work on communicating openly and listening attentively, the stronger their bonds with friends will become.
Empathy
Having empathy means being able to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in your friend’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective. Empathy is so important for building close, caring friendships.
Kids with empathy are able to sense when their friend is feeling sad, frustrated, or left out, even if they don’t say it out loud. They can then show compassion by offering a listening ear, giving a hug, or simply letting their friend know they care.
Imagine your child’s best friend didn’t make the football team they really wanted to join. A friend with empathy would understand how disappointing that must feel. Instead of just saying “Oh well, there’s always next year,” they would validate their friend’s sadness and let them know it’s okay to feel that way.
Empathy helps kids avoid being insensitive or brushing off their friends’ emotions. It creates a safe space for sharing feelings openly. And in the long run, empathetic friends can get through tough times together.
Conflict Resolution
Even the closest of friends are bound to disagree or get into arguments sometimes. That’s just part of being human! The important thing is how kids learn to resolve those conflicts in a respectful, peaceful way.
No one likes feeling angry or upset with their friend. But often, kids don’t know how to work through disagreements without just yelling, name-calling, or giving each other the silent treatment. Those responses only lead to more hurt.
Instead, children need to learn conflict resolution skills like compromising, seeing both sides, and finding win-win solutions. For example, if two friends disagree about what game to play, they could take turns picking so they each get a turn at their favorite.
It’s also important for kids to learn to apologize sincerely when they’ve made a mistake in how they treated their friend during a conflict. Being able to say “I’m sorry I got so angry, that was wrong of me” can go a long way in repairing hurt feelings.
With guidance, kids can learn that conflicts don’t have to damage a friendship permanently. Resolving disagreements through communication and compromise strengthens bonds in the long run.
Cooperation and Teamwork
Friendships aren’t just about one-on-one hangouts. Sometimes being a good friend means working together as part of a team or group to accomplish something fun or meaningful.
Whether it’s cooperating to build an epic fort, put on a neighborhood play, or raise money for a cause they care about, teamwork is a valuable friendship skill. Kids need to learn how to share responsibilities, assign tasks, and appreciate each other’s contributions and strengths.
For example, if a group of friends wants to start a lemonade stand business, one friend might be great at crafting the signs, while another is a math whiz handling the money. They can divide up the duties based on their talents, while still working cooperatively toward their common goal.
Being a team player means encouraging friends, offering help when needed, and not leaving anyone out. It’s about celebrating group successes because you succeeded together through cooperation.
Children who develop teamwork abilities don’t just become better friends – they gain important life skills for school group projects, future jobs, and any situation requiring collaboration with others.
Respect and Acceptance
True friendship means respecting and accepting each other for who you are – celebrating the things that make each person unique instead of judging differences. Kids need to learn how to appreciate diversity in their friendships.
Maybe your child’s best friend comes from a different cultural background, has different abilities, or simply has quirky interests that don’t match everyone else’s. A good friend looks past surface differences and focuses on the qualities that really matter, like kindness, loyalty and shared values.
Respectful friends don’t make fun of others for being different. They have open minds and make an effort to understand perspectives unlike their own. They treat each other with kindness, even when they disagree.
Likewise, accepting friends don’t pressure each other to act or believe a certain way just to “fit in.” They embrace individuality and create an environment where everyone feels comfortable being themselves, quirks and all.
In a world with so much diversity, respect and acceptance are vital friendship skills. They prevent hurtful prejudices from forming and allow the wonderful richness of differences to be cherished.
Respect and Acceptance
True friendship means respecting and accepting each other for who you are – celebrating the things that make each person unique instead of judging differences. Kids need to learn how to appreciate diversity in their friendships.
Maybe your child’s best friend comes from a different cultural background, has different abilities, or simply has quirky interests that don’t match everyone else’s. A good friend looks past surface differences and focuses on the qualities that really matter, like kindness, loyalty and shared values.
Respectful friends don’t make fun of others for being different. They have open minds and make an effort to understand perspectives unlike their own. They treat each other with kindness, even when they disagree.
Likewise, accepting friends don’t pressure each other to act or believe a certain way just to “fit in.” They embrace individuality and create an environment where everyone feels comfortable being themselves, quirks and all.
In a world with so much diversity, respect and acceptance are vital friendship skills. They prevent hurtful prejudices from forming and allow the wonderful richness of differences to be cherished.
Trust and Loyalty
At the heart of any great friendship is a bond of trust and loyalty between two people who sincerely care about each other’s wellbeing. These qualities are the glue that holds friendships together through thick and thin.
Trust means being able to count on your friend to be honest, keep secrets shared in confidence, and have your back, even when others might not. A trusted friend doesn’t lie, gossip about you behind your back, or ditch you as soon as a cooler crowd comes along.
Similarly, loyalty is sticking by your friend’s side and being a steady supportive presence. Loyal friends don’t abandon each other over minor squabbles or during difficult times when their friend really needs them most.
Kids who demonstrate trustworthiness through their integrity and reliability earn the respect and loyalty of their friends in return. These are the types of friends who can be counted on for the long haul.
Of course, trust and loyalty have to be continually nurtured in any friendship. But when kids learn to truly value and prioritize these qualities, their bonds with dear friends become unshakable.
Forgiveness
Even best friends mess up sometimes. They might say something hurtful by accident or make a bad choice that disappoints their friend. That’s when the skill of forgiveness becomes so important.
Kids need to understand that everyone makes mistakes – it’s part of being human. What matters is taking responsibility for those mistakes and being willing to make amends. A sincere “I’m sorry, I was wrong” can go a long way.
At the same time, the hurt friend has to learn to let go of the anger or resentment. Holding grudges only damages the friendship further. True forgiveness means accepting the apology, having an open conversation, and choosing to move forward.
Of course, repeatedly hurtful behavior shouldn’t be forgiven endlessly. But for those periodic slipups, forgiveness prevents small issues from snowballing into ending an otherwise great friendship.
Friends who can forgive each other’s mistakes don’t let resentment fester. They clear the air, reaffirm their care for each other, and give their friendship a fresh start.
Boundary Setting
While closeness is wonderful in friendships, it’s also important for kids to learn how to set appropriate boundaries and respect each other’s privacy and personal space. Healthy friendships have boundaries.
For example, maybe your child has a friend who always wants to borrow their belongings without asking, or who gets too “hands-on” with roughhousing even after being told to stop. Setting a firm boundary like “Please don’t take my things without permission” or “I don’t like being touched that way” communicates needs clearly.
Good friends listen to each other’s boundaries without taking offense or guilt-tripping. They understand that boundaries don’t diminish caring – they ensure each person’s comfort levels are considered.
Boundaries also involve respecting privacy by not prying into very personal matters a friend isn’t ready to disclose. Kids should learn it’s okay to have parts of their lives they don’t share.
Gratitude and Appreciation
Having friends to count on is such a gift! That’s why it’s so important for kids to develop an attitude of gratitude and learn how to appreciate the friendship they share.
Too often, kids (and adults!) can take their friends for granted and forget to express thankfulness for all the little things friends do – the laughs they share, the comfort they provide when sad, the fun adventures they experience together.
Kids with an attitude of gratitude frequently let their friends know just how much they value having them in their life. Simple statements like “Thanks for always making me laugh!” or “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you” goes a long way.
Appreciative friends also take time to celebrate each other’s successes, talents and positive qualities. They are each other’s hype squad, not competitors always trying to one-up the other.
When friends make gratitude a habit, it strengthens their bond and helps fend off feelings of jealousy, resentment or competition creeping in. It’s a simple perspective shift that keeps the friendship grounded in mutual care and respect.
Fun and Playfulness
At the end of the day, one of the biggest purposes of friendships is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company! That’s why keeping a spirit of playfulness and humor alive in a friendship is so important.
Think about your most cherished friendship memories – chances are, many of them involve laughing so hard your belly hurts, being a little silly or goofy together, or just experiencing pure joy from shared interests and activities.
Playful friends don’t take themselves too seriously all the time. They find reasons to joke around, be spontaneous, and keep an expansive imagination even as they get older. Having an accomplice for antics makes mischief twice as fun!
More than that, playful friends make an effort to engage in each other’s worlds. If one friend loves fantasy novels, the other willingly joins their imaginative role-playing games. If another is obsessed with a sport, their friend learns about it to better relate.
This sense of playful curiosity about each other’s passions strengthens the friendship bond. It tells the other person “I care about the things you enjoy because I care about you.”
As parents, we have the wonderful opportunity to nurture these abilities in the kids we care about. By modeling healthy friendship behaviors ourselves, and creating safe environments for children to practice skills like empathy and cooperation, we demystify what it means to be a good friend.
It’s such a gift to equip our kids with the “tools” for forming lasting bonds. When we make friendship skills a priority, we’re giving them strengths they’ll carry with them forever – the strengths to laugh with their friends, support their friends, forgive their friends, and be the kind of friends that make the world feel a little bit lighter.
